This pain is mine… I’ll take it all

Keep in mind… I’ll suffer it all

For you shall I bleed?

It shall be death I last face in your name

I am the dweep… the hated soul

The fall of my forefathers shadow me

I was the one always blamed

I am the dunderhead… dunce’s hat is my friend

There is calm before every storm

Or so they say

It’s the sinister love that I took wrong

For you shall be the only one I desire

Your hate on me is a blessing

A reason to build my own religion

My own cult… my own realm

A reason to kill my suicidal thoughts

Oh Satan of the Hell

Creator of Betrayal

Bless me with Hate and Regret

So that I can be thy sacred one

In Hell

Oh Satan of the seven Hells

I live not by thy name

A disguise of no one

Just disgust to the face of earth

Bless me with Hate and Regret

Make me thy Slave

For the end is in thou hands

Give me the rudeness

And give me thy cruelty

And give me the power

To slay this world of betrayal

May this day never set its sun?

Give me time so my conscience regain

Let me join the insane cult

And take the torment off my self

In dreams I cry as angels fall dead

The saviors at last stabbed in their holy soul

The promised eternal curse breaks

I scream as I join Satan himself in Hell

This is what I desired

This is my self righteous suicide

You can’t stop me now

I have had enough of your petty lies

18 long years – I suffered the cruelty of your justice

Now I break free to join the evil

Now I shall have my revenge on you

Now its payback time – and I’m the one to pay

Strangulation, suffocation – my fate awaits

Decapitation, asphyxiation – death is my only way

The red fluid of life in these veins

At last gone cold and blue

I see the widow ghost approach – smiling

It’s time for me to go

Lifts me off the filthy ground

Slits my throat in half

The world fades – my eyes bind shut

I’m leaving this world that gave me no good

Six feet under – my final destination waits

I must go; this world is not mine for the taking

18 white doves glide beneath me

Filthy and cold – my lifeless blood drains

The pureness fades; the white dove’s wings stain

How cruel am I? – But just flesh and sick blood I hold

“may you live in peace”

I leave my last words to this filthy race

My journey starts – there’s no turning back

It’s every man for himself now

One glance over my shoulder; shall be for my life

It’s time for the holy war; the prophecies at last has come true

“light the fires – sacrifice a virgin soul

sharpen the cursed swords

this fight shall be bloody”

The slithering holy serpent speaks

Swords raised high – as the northern moon divide

The world fades to shades of crimson and black

The war takes lives; angels and the sinful ‘yahs’

Paradise and virgins they were promised by the cursed saints

Now its time for hell – the bearers of the evil planks

Here is the final verse – it’s time to rejoice

This flame of pain

Burning in me is too real

It screams loud at your betrayal

And today my love shall curse you with this riddle

Dim your light – see the fright

Come along into the black tunnel of life

She dances backwards in the filth of darkness

In her world; shaded grey

See me bleed – lose your creed

I am not your enemy

Your enemy did you embrace

You made love to the devil’s son

Get out of my way; blind leads blind

Bouncing against walls – but I’m still alive

I close my eyes and hide behind another lie

And then I dream; anything to ease this pain

Faces will lie – truth be denied

With closed eyes I greet the fallen

In the realm of the filthy vitium

Time to rest my weary bones – and these scars in my soul

Shall you be the one; to hold the eternal spell?

The key to the land of immoral

You shall be the one - !

I still remember, it was the last night

Of the last, the coldest July,

Fleeing the brutal justice

Taking the torment off my self

I lay in your arms; at last the final embrace

I died but I’m still alive; just that my sword will rise no more

Shall I ever be like you? The brave keeper of truth

Whose name will be written,

At the far ends – in the beauty of Aurora Borealis

This is not what I desire

This endless bitter pain

This is more than I can take

I bleed from my eyes; these empty cold tears

As you there – on the lap of a stranger

In a garden I bedeck with these very hands

What I desired backfired on me

My true faith betrayed me

With bloody eyes- my insides scream

This pain wills no scars behind for you

At last, my only true friend creeps in

Depression and despair – those I truly believe

A filthy smile slowly fading; depression speaks,

“feel the guilt – crucify yourself

cleanse yourself of the betrayal you suffer

join your forgotten ones

in the realm of despair”

The last cold winter the mortaks had

When the seventh king bowed to the evil dead

Saints were frozen by the sins

And the beast broke loose from its hell

A dagger was made out of the king’s crown

It was baptized by the blood of a virgin whore

Nightly shadows ruled the faded world

Crimson tears filled the empty nights

Spill the black tar of life

It’s the only escape now

The last cold winter the mortaks had

When the seventh king bowed to the evil dead

Saints were frozen by the sins

And the beast broke loose from its hell

Spill the black tar of life

Take the torment off yourself

Acting, Pretending, Obeying your every command

Being a slave I was never meant to be

I followed you all my life – eyes shut blind

Falling, Tripping, Breaking apart, taking every step behind you

You laughed and scold me every time I fell

You showed me your heaven – to me it was hell

Taking my life; crucifying me was your final will

You hated me more than fucking hate

Prayed for ever opportunity you could make me the clown

Laughed at me – you talked behind my back

Now its time to change my fate – my eyes are open wide

It is now that I realize – I hold the key

The key to unlock my true destiny

I shall create my own realm

A kingdom that shall bow to my every will

My dynasty shall bare the ancient words

“ do what thou wilt “

I shall have no mercy on you

My rise shall be your end

I shall raise my first toast to your corpse

And now you shall see me

As I reveal my true Anarchy

You don’t know how much you make me sick

Yes bitch! You make me fucking puke

Your dirty lies – I’ve had enough of them

Not a single second I’ll waste in your name

Discrimination, Ignorance, Rudeness – all I saw

Frustration, Unjust, and Vengeance – all I know

Sick passion, fevered dreams haunt me now

Your chaotic beauty; hides the beast within

You are filthy – now that I realize

Your memories I shall block

Try and persuade me to you

Slit you in half shall I with no fear

I have built a wall of hate in me

You are just another bitch to me now

Your fate shall be in my bloody hands

I’ll rape you of your joys

Your end shall be my beginning

*(first 2 lines inspired by Eminem’s “Puke”)

Life took so much from me

Happiness was shaded grey by thee

Thy cruelty, brutality left these eternal marks on me

Sigh, its too late – I’m too far – there’s no turning back for me

Love – was once mine

Joy – I had it just fine

Until be there no vital sign

Proof that thou love is mine

Call it my bad attitude

If only ye new my so called attitude

Call it ignorance – be it my arrogance

It doesn’t matter as long as there remains the evil fragrance

Now is the time I take over my life

I’ve wasted enough throughout my life

Now I reveal my true identity before ye

Now is the time for me

It shall be me from now on

Taking control of my life from here on

Making up to the shit you made me go through

I’ll embark alone – I don’t need no crew

‘BORN AT THE DAWN

OF THE FIRST AUTUMN RAIN

A GIRL WAS BAPTIZED

BY THE UNHOLY WORDS OF HATE’

16 long years went by

The girl left untouched by a virgin hand

Blessings were never given upon her

Hatred poured like rain

Never did a day pass when she didn’t cry in vain

Misused and humiliated

She was named after a prophesied whore

Looking back on your past – I realize

Oh my god it was –– it was you

(Initially named – Angel’s Dust)

Take me in, I’m your friend

Walk with me, this is the end

Fuck the sinner you’ll see

Pleasure and pride I shall be

Plunge yourself into public hate

At last I will become your only true fate

I will rip you apart

And still bring peace to your heart

Take me in – I am the angel’s dust

Never, would I let you die and rust

I shall protect you; I promise I shall be the first

I shall be with you, until you seek this earth’s crust

Come with me, I’ll lead the way

I’ll take you to the happiest bay

Your days shall be free – nights be gay

Take me in; I am your friend

Walk with me; I’ll rip you apart

And still bring peace to your heart

Come with me, I’ll lead the way

I’ll take you to the happiest bay

Your days shall be free – nights be gay

Come my friend –– anything you say

I walk this last lonely path

I speak my last words

And I welcome the last carving blade

As it fades away into my vein of life

Goodbye you cynical race

I’m leaving this world

May you never remember me

Good Bye!

(second verse by foxyvixen)

Life makes me think.

Once again, it repeats itself.

I am covered. This mist of frustration seems eternal.

Hypnotized by thy sycophancy.

Hallucination is meditation for me.

Down once more to the dungeons of my black despair.

Down I'm plunged into the prison of my mind.

Down that path into darkness deep as hell.

Stripped naked to my nightmares.

Crushed by the words of sweet guilt.

Covered in a veil of Silverblood, the treacherers raise another toast.

Alas! I face another fevered dream.

Life lends smiles; then betray

Destiny; will leave you stray

Love and reality left amongst a fray

All that remains is to pray

Walking a lonely path I try

Hide from those who do pry

Wishing I could stop this pain filled cry

Finally wipe these cheeks dry

Forgotten – left in exile

Days filled with torture; In dreams I try to smile

Nightmares of the final mile

I see me; at the apex of hell’s sinister pile

You

You are the serpent

Slither slowly into my life

You

You are the mistress

Queen of my sweet nightmares

You

You are the reason

The reason I try to carry on

Take me by my hand

Lead my way; to the dreamer’s land

Take me by my hand

Show me another dream – free me from this anguish

Free me from this world

Let me taste the scrumptious fruits of heaven

Come into my arms – embrace me in an eternal spell

Speak the language of the serpent

Impress me with your sycophancy

Come close – hold me tight

Sing me thou divine lullaby

Let me rest in thy arms

Close my eyes – Love me the way you do

The silent bloodbath

Slaughter of a thousand souls

An unheard massacre

Lies deep in the veins of your stained hands

Rivers of dried blood

From the battles you fought

Dreams of a forgotten past

Haunting every moment of an innocent life

Mistrust; the final district

Law, nor order found strict

Bloodshed – Rampage of crime

Innocent souls fell dead for a single dime

Mercy be thy lord’s

Foreseen – from the holy words

Dawn of a perfect day in his dreams

A boy cries silent screams

Fevered fetish; thou hast reached the end of the line,

Guilty thou art; for the sins of thine

Justice; the pleasure finally mine

Come close – celebrate; drink this wine

Sleepless nights, endless tears

I long to belong

Words unsaid, dreams do fade

Yet I'm still, holding on

Outcast, blacksheep

Disgrace to my kin

Falling down, crushed to pieces

I'm still alive, I'll carry on

Mist of sweet life; may portray otherwise

Yet close we are; bound in friendship's love

Hide we may; our tears of sorrow

But not ever do we; hide what swelled up those tears

Misunderstand may they; the ones who care

What they see need not be; what we know

I've seen the end, I've drawn the line,

I will forever be yours, the eternal second in line....

Forced existence

Forged identity

Faced this newborn baby

Fate fucked up, baptized in bullets

Shaken, had this angel a mother

Sorrow of a husband just lost

Sujood he was at in depths of Gaza

Suckers! They bombed the Holy Masjid

Fifteen years later

Fourteen bullet wounds deeper

Fiery of a murdered father

Forth he came, armor in hand

Revenge he seeks

Realm of equals he had built

Rolled against his heart a photo

Raised his will his martyred mother

Today, a "Terrorist" is born...

So far no matter how close

Moments I am left with alone

Yearning to be in your arms

Feel like the man I used to be

Says my lonely heart

Live, Oh Live a bit

Then I smile, hoping it would last

The smile fades, reality invades

I have tried, I have failed,

I cannot live apart anymore

If only did oceans never keep us away

Would life be so full of love that is dreamed of

So far no matter how close

Yearning to be in your arms

Useless fat, unwanted shit

Seven Threes, pronounced unfit

Memories, how he got hit

Revenge, the only light lit

Waiting, for his eternal pit

Wait, he's gone to a fit

LOL, Who cares about it?

The world has come to this

Baloney dominates headlines

Big Cheese's farts become the bee's knees

Every night on TV, its the same bimbo and useless stories

Tales of another dame's botox implants

Meanwhile in Africa, another thousand dies of hunger

Deep down in the debris of Gaza

A widowed mother cries for her martyred baby

The streets of Manzoorabad are stained by the blood

Cries of a little girl who did not deserve to be gang raped

So many things to say....

So many I couldn't think of a way...

So many times before May...

So close in your arms I want to lay....

So close but so far today....

So many things to say....

And yet seeing you smile, silent I shall stay...

Lost for words,

Speechless, broken inside,

Smiling, to hide oceans of tears,

Wounds of lost love,

Carved deep, deep inside me,

I've tried to build a wall -

Wall of plastic smiles around me

Tell myself you are gone...

and alas, I have done.

At last, I’ve got a smile on my broken face

Yes! I’m still keeping pace

There was a time when I used to think

With you gone, alone I’d sink

Left alone, for love I did weep

Then I realized I’m no dweep

Woken up from a false sleep

I’m now taking this leap

What’s gone is gone

What we had – you had it torn

Turn around, go on – I’ve found another reason

I am smiling – You’re not the reason

“Missing someone, they say, is self-centered. I self-center you more than ever.” 

Saša Stanišić

Down in the realm of destiny

One survives and another dies

Minorities divided by those they chose

Friends to call and hold close

Those lucky enough though did

Choose friends like you

Managed to hold them by

Never did they let go down that path

Those stupids mistakes I once made

Those crazy things I said

For those now I suffer

The emptiness of the friend I chose

The regret that kills me now

Of hurting the friend in you

The pain I deserve

For the pain I bequeath you

It all seems justified

Realizing how much you mean to me...

 Jevo glaesoti rȳ buzdari istiat

Blinded by faith

in colors you trust

Order of the eighth

destroy we must

See your wraith

burn tomes of just

Rise! Oh Youth

Rise! And Rebel

One Finger Rebellion

NOW OR NEVER

Kesȳ tubī jemot dāervi tepan

~ a writing for; Hope In Curses series

Fall for love that is now.

Impressed by the bannerman's sycophancy,

walk yourself into the charming web ov deceit.

Come tomorrow will you realize,

now was not forever.

Forever was here by my side.

Brought up caged

Oblivious to the world around

Mocked, bullied, humiliated

By those deemed best of friends

All grown up and free

Or so was thought

Mocked, bullied, humiliated

Still afraid, like the kid once was

Fear of the childhood that once was

Fear, the only emotion that remained

Emotions, a mask that hides truth

A lie that takes a life to learn

Fate, what shall be

Justify, life. Justify.